i got lost

I got lost, really really lost after the last solstice, i have never suffered from depression before, it just kind of crept up on me ... got me from behind when i wasn't looking.
Came over like a big dark cloud, and stayed for a while.

As the solar eclipse passed, i hung on to what was precious in my life, my boys, my partner, my art, my health, my sanity... then they started to slip away...

Painting.... my passion became a struggle.
Pap test reveals pre cancerous cells,
Fibroids have invaded my womb,
Doctor tells me i have depression, anxiety, and complete exhaustion, prescibes anti depressants...
Have to have time off work to get fixed...no work = no money
My big boy leaves home.... the same weekend i found out my partner has been with another woman.
Sanity slips away
OK universe...how much do want to squeeze into 10 days! ok, maybe it was over a month, but felt like a really short amount of time.

ENOUGH!

Crap!... just re-read my last 2 posts.... didn't see that coming!

Puppy Wishes

Its winter and its school holidays, day 2.

I LOVE school holidays, no alarms, big sleep ins, i get to drink my coffee in the mornings, all of it, while its still hot, and have all day pyjama days. (i do my best paintings, sewing, artsy bits in my pj's.) we get to unwind, and relax, and catch up to each other.

After most of the day on the x box, the two younger ones were getting restless, so we went for a walk down the beach, took the soccer ball, had a kick, had a poke around at the seaweed, climbed all over the rocks, it was cold, and windy and totally beautiful.

I like feeling the cool wind on my cheeks, ahhh... the simple things.

My boys harassed a man walking his two puppies, little labradoodles, very cute indeed, they had a pat and off went the man and his puppies.... then my boys turned on me... with big soulful eyes "Can we have a dog mum" "mum" "MUM" "mum"....can we?

So far i have avoided the responsibilities of "large" pet ownership up until now, we have self cleaning, low maintenance kitty's and 2 loud happy ducks, but a puppy is like another child.

My boys are 17 14 & 6, we have a house that is suitable for a dog, (good fences) and children willing to share the love, and old enough for the responsibility of dog ownership.

So out on the beach at sunset we joined hands and sent it to the universe, and did a little dance for a happy healthy loyal chocolate brown boy puppy to come join our family.

Lets see how it goes!